There are many things I am excited to write. There are many things I am prepared to share. There is one thing holding me back.
It has been creeping into the corners of my mind and holding me back. I want to say everything that is on my mind. I want to share my views and opinions, but that does not even feel safe right now.
It feels like things are one word from exploding and setting things off.
Say the wrong thing, and you do not get the job.
Say the wrong thing, and you lose your open access to speak online or in person.
Say the wrong thing, and no one will keep reading what you write.
Write the wrong thing, and you lose your chance to be published.
Write the wrong thing, and no one will share your work with others.
The questions have been the worst though.
What if I am not good enough?
What if they think it is trash?
What if___(fill in the blank)___?
There are many things I have coming for the world to see and to share with everyone. I just need to keep pushing through this wave of fear that has been hanging over my head.
I have overcome the fear before. I have done so with every single post. Right now it is just… overwhelming. Especially with school critiques where there is always something wrong for others to find.
I know it is important to practice editing.
I know this feedback is helpful.
Sometimes, when a lot of other things are going wrong, it just layers up. The blanket of fear creeps back up around you and suffocates you.
Being afraid to use your voice… is the worst thing a writer can feel.
Today I am deciding to focus that fear into this blog. I want to share that no one feeling this way is alone. Sometimes it is intimidating. Sometimes it is suffocating. Sometimes it is intense.
Whatever it is that is being written is how you are overcoming that fear. That little voice of doubt is being silenced.
Make your freedom with words overcome that fear.
Best of luck. I will have a ton to post soon!