The past few months have been a whirlwind of confusion, stress, anger, pain, and a reset. After the car accident I was in I wasn’t quite sure how to sit here and write. I had a lot to say, but I wasn’t sure how to say it. My mind was a big mess. My memory wasn’t in top form. Everything was spiraling out of my grip.
Physically I wasn’t doing one hundred percent either. I needed to start getting everything straight before I tried to find that new normal for moving and doing everything. I am lucky. I didn’t need surgery. I did need and am still working through a lot of physical therapy. However, I will do what needs to be done to find myself again.
I let myself get lost for a while. My anxiety took over. I didn’t want to see anyone or go anywhere. I didn’t want to do anything. But I had to keep going. I had to push through all of those crappy feelings. I needed to find my balance. I needed to find myself.
After all of that fighting to get back to a relatively normal place I went back to work part time, I finished another semester in school, and I wrote a chunk of my novel for the first time since December. If it wasn’t for school I would have probably completely lost it. (The last class ends in October and I wasn’t stopping classes if I could help it.)
I struggled with sharing everything. I wanted to put everything out there in the open about what was going on. I couldn’t find the words. I couldn’t write them down. I wanted to write anything that wasn’t just for school.
I feel a weight lifting as I type this out and start being a little more open, a little more honest, and a little more me.
I plan to write something every day to get back into the flow of things; blog post, short story, or just a prompt of the day. I want to get back to doing what I love and I want to move forward with my life. I don’t want to keep pushing it aside and telling myself, “Maybe tomorrow.”
I am going to use this time in the house to read as many books as possible, do a bunch of puzzles, and exercise as many creative muscles as I can.
As always thank you for taking the time to read my blog.