On December 26, 2019 I was involved in a car accident. I am not going to dwell on the details or go too in depth. I have been sitting and reflecting a lot. I have not been able to sit on my computer and write outside of my school work this past month, I have not been able to read at my normal pace of a book a day or two to three a week, and I have been dealing with constant frustrations of all the other issues caused by the accident.
To put it simply I have felt very lost and very much alone. (Even with my amazing family and friends being present and supportive.)
That being said, I want to focus on the writing part in all this. I have always looked at writing as a way for me to just speak my mind and tell stories, but after everything that I have felt and been dealing with I realized something important. For me writing is an extension of who I am. It isn’t just this thing I can do or enjoy doing. It is a part of me. I wasn’t able to really do that for an entire month and that alone made me feel so completely broken. I was so lost without knowing how to express myself and let that part of me be free. It has been emotionally draining working through everything and my main outlet has been on standby.
I still can’t sit on the computer, read, or write for too long in one shot, but I am so blessed that I can do it for as long as I can in this moment.
My school is amazing and understanding with everything. I am using my school time to work back up to the standards I set for myself. I don’t push it too hard. If things start acting up I stop and let my brain rest before going again. If it wasn’t for school I think I would still be struggling as bad as I was a few weeks ago. So, thank you to Southern New Hampshire University.
I will work back up to being able to write and read all day every single day no matter what it takes, but I am not the most patient of people. Really. I could pretend to be patient on the outside, but everyone around me knows. I am not one to wait for something to happen. I am one to make it happen, but I am following all of the instructions from my doctors and intend to get back to normal or even surpass the old normal. That is how important this is to me.
I am going to let myself heal and grow from this experience. I can only hope that the growth will be beautiful in the end.
Thank you for those who follow me and are still with me on this journey. Thank you to those who are just reading my words now.
Leave a Reply