The rain was coming down hard that day, and I just stared at the ceiling from my couch. The sound of the rain on the window calming my mind and pulling my anxiety from within me. The barely open windows let the smell of it drift in. I could feel myself easing off from the stress and worries. The dog snored at my feet on the other end of the couch making me feel safe.

I let my eyes close and I let the darkness behind my lids start to pull me in.

Thoughts of the day melted away from me.

As I finally felt myself drifting I heard the first steps on the staircase outside. The dog jumped up and growled at the door. I let my arm fall over my eyes in exhaustion. I knew it was too good to be true.

I counted the next few steps and waited for the heavy knock of whoever came up on my door.

The odd thing was that it never came. The footfalls drifted away, and the dog was now jumping up on the door barking. I stretched out my sore and tired muscles. Everything was feeling the emotional mess that my mind had become. The door seemed like a million miles away, but I got there. In between the doors was a journal wrapped in a ribbon.

No giver in sight.

Just the journal.

I slowly opened the door, stepped on the deck, and looked around. Who could have left this beautiful leatherbound journal? There were neighbors walking dogs with umbrellas, neighbors working in their garages, birds flying around the yard dodging raindrops, but no gift giver. I opened it up slowly as if it was going to jump at me.

“I will never understand where it all went wrong, but I will always support your dreams.

Write away.

N”

I let the breath I did not know I was holding leave my body and I felt every nerve ending come back to life.

No more numbness.

No more tears.